Can you mediate a case with a history of domestic violence?
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 10 million people are victims of domestic violence each year and 20,000 calls are placed each day to domestic violence hotlines. Those are staggering numbers, and it’s often thought that when there’s a history of domestic violence, mediation isn’t possible and that both parties will be forced to head straight to court and go through long, expensive, adversarial litigation.
While it’s true that not every case is suitable for mediation, there are certain situations in which mediation can reduce not only the time and costs associated with finding a resolution but also help to reduce the escalation of emotions and conflict—with certain stipulations put in place before and during the actual mediation session.
Here’s what qualifies as domestic violence, what’s involved in the mediation process, and how mediation is different in cases with a history of domestic violence.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a pattern of learned behavior in which one person uses abuse to harm and/or control someone else. According to Michigan law, it’s considered to be a domestic relationship if any of the following apply:
- Spouse or former spouse
- Dating relationship or former dating relationship
- Child in common
- Resident or former resident of the same household
Just as the relationship can take many forms, so can the tactics and actions used by the abusers. While this is in no way a complete list, some of the most common forms of domestic violence:
- Physical Abuse: This can be pushing or shoving, hitting, kicking, punching, having a weapon used against you, being denied help when sick, having objects thrown at you, or even being locked out of your house or left in a dangerous situation.
- Sexual Abuse: This can range from everything that includes forced sexual acts in any way, shape, or form to having to dress more sexually than you’re comfortable with.
- Emotional and Psychological Abuse: This includes stalking, being ridiculed for your race, religion, sexual orientation, or anything associated with your beliefs and lifestyle situation, threatening to harm you or your loved one, manipulation and lying, and convincing you that you deserve or are to blame for the abuse.
- Economic Abuse: That takes the form of a partner controlling the finances and denying you access to credit cards, bank accounts, insurance, etc. and preventing you from getting a job or an education.
What is Mediation?
Domestic violence cases are often wrought with emotion and complexity, and not always suitable for mediation. However, mediation can be a beneficial alternative way to solve legal conflicts—even those that may include a history of domestic violence.
Through the help of an impartial, experienced mediator trained to specifically handle domestic violence cases, disputes can be settled outside of a courtroom and without standing in front of a judge. The mediation process is a faster and more affordable option, and has a success rate of 70-80%.
The process itself will vary in each particular case, but generally includes the mediator giving both sides equal time to explain the matter being mediated, share their concerns, and let the other party know the consequences they’ve experienced due to the dispute at hand. The mediator ensures that neither party is interrupted and guides the conversation in an impartial way that ensures both sides feel their voices are being heard. The goal is to work together to arrive at a solution and resolve the dispute in a way that satisfies both sides, reaching an agreement that once signed, acts as a contract enforceable by the courts.
How Mediation is Different if There’s a History of Domestic Violence
Given the fact that power plays a strong role in most incidents of domestic violence, that’s often a reason that mediation isn’t a viable choice for dispute resolution—one party doesn’t want to give up power and/or the other side feels they have none. However, mediation may still be a good choice if measures are taken to ensure that there’s no imbalance of power between the negotiating parties. At Conflict Resolution Services, we have specific guidelines in place for mediation of cases with a history of domestic violence.
First, all domestic relations case participants are screened for domestic violence during the intake process, following the state of Michigan’s protocol. By default mediations are held via Zoom, and under circumstances where there’s no history of domestic violence, parties can also choose to be in person as long as they both agree to that arrangement. However, if there’s any history of domestic violence found, in-person mediation is no longer an option.
For every case with a history of domestic violence, we also require the victim to be represented by an attorney at mediation to ensure they’re able to advocate for themselves. Legal Services of Northern Michigan will represent victims of domestic violence in mediation or court with certain exceptions.
CRS also offers shuttle mediation which involves the parties separated into breakout rooms as soon as they join the mediation. They never see or speak directly to each other and all of the communication happens through the mediator. Shuttle mediation is required if there’s a personal protection order in place, unless the judge lifts the PPO for the purposes of mediation.
Benefits of Mediation if There’s a History of Domestic Violence
Along with saving time and money, meditation involves both sides working together—instead of against each other—to find a solution, and we try very hard to protect the victim while still giving them the opportunity to participate in mediation. Some victims have reported to us that they really liked mediating because it was their first time being able to stand up for themselves against the offender because of the controlled environment.
The CRS mediators don’t take a side, but rather remain neutral and use their training and experience to facilitate open, focused communication. This communication can be especially important if the relationship includes children, as it can teach those involved the skills to keep the lines of communication open and civil going forward. While you might not want to repair the relationship, it may help prevent future conflicts and disruption to your children’s lives and routines.
Finally, mediation is a two-way street, unlike in the courts where a decision is made by a judge and declares one side the “winner” and one side the “loser.” As long as both parties enter into mediation open to negotiation and civility, the agreement can be formed in a way that provides a more satisfactory solution.
Take the First Steps Towards Your Peace of Mind
At CRS, we know the stress and complexities of domestic violence disputes and are trained to help those involved reach a resolution that starts them on a path going forward. If you’re interested in learning more about mediation, reach out to our experienced team today.
